A regular pair in the mid-week game are Frog & Frogette. They are a strong ex-pat French couple who play 5-card major, weak No-Trump. YC Convention requires that with a weak hand members enquire the range of their No-Trump when they open it and that they reply 12-14, equally the failure to ask shows about 10-12 balanced. Serious students of the game will note this is the Inverted French defence, and this information is authorised to both sides. By the way, if you ask then double it’s 13-15 and an immediate double is penalties, unless you hesitate in which case it’s Brozel (one-suited, popular in France and unlicenced in GB).

The auction goes 1 by a member who actuarily speaking should pay visitor’s table money. It would save his estate money on the grounds it’s not clear he’ll last long enough to recover his membership fee. There is a 1 overcall by Frogette, double (no alert), all pass, -800. The purple carapace is summoned. Frog says "Why didn’t he alert the double? I would have pulled". Apparently on the Continent, and indeed if you’re British and under 30, the meaning of most doubles is "Partner, this is probably making, please will you misguess the final contract", and this requires no alert in Europe. Not so in England!

"Freddie didn’t alert because it was for penalties!" I said, thereby setting back Anglo-French detente by 10 years. The whole table was now in receipt of one of the finest Gallic shrugs ever seen. It reminded me of Asterix in Britain "Ils sont tous fous, les Anglais!" (Free translation - F***** Brits!).